you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
