kristin has been a bad kristin
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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