i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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