to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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