It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I can't put those talents on a resume
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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