I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
