Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
