im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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