I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
