my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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