i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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