even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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