i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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