I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
