You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
