FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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