u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Drake has all the answers
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
