Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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