I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
