idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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