I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
