I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I understand Curling. That high.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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