So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm at about main and main street
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
