Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
