I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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