He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
