We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
