so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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