nut hugger
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
