I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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