i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
