Say something about gay babies.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
