I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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