Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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