is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i believe in u and ur pee
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
