My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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