ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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