Your tits are I can't wait for
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
