Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
