Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
