She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
