I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
