It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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