I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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