New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
