I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
