yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
