Dual....:-)
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
