I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
