I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
