Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
