I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize