There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
