The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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