You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
