Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
