you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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