Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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