dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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