I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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