Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
