when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
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The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
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We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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