So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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