We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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