I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
