If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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