Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
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Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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